BLIND FAITH

Is anyone surprised that the fastest blind man in the world is a South African, Hein Wagner drove 269km/h along an airstrip in NW province in a red Maserati V8 Gransport breaking the previous record of 233km/h.

I know of one or two taxi drivers who could give him a run for his money, not to mention those 4x4 drivers who sit up there in their lofty armored bubbles, sunglasses glinting, deaf and blind to screams and bicycles, as they try to intimidate the taxis without getting bashed by the uninsured.

Traffic cops, they’ll see you that one time you cross the white line, but they’re blind when someone jumps a red light, weaves drunkenly in front of you, or when a light is out and the traffic backs up into next week. Cellphone users, make-up artistes, DVD watchers, all blind for periods of time while they're driving, which might explain how we arrived at these statistics.

We're also simmering with rage, smouldering with fury, liable to leap out of our cars at the drop of a baseball bat. Fortunately, we’re less likely to be hit over the head in a road rage incident than if we lived in India or Greece. 67% of us have experienced aggressive behaviour from fellow drivers, and we’re third worst in the world when it comes to getting out of the car and getting into it with some wanker who can’t drive (and is most probably blind).

Luckily most of us vent the passive-aggressive way, using the ever popular third finger wave, swearing, flashing headlights and hooting.

To add bankruptcy to injury, we’ve got the in car DVD player, which is supposed to be for the kids in the back of the limo, but whaddayamean shell out R2400 for the sprogs? What’s the bet it’ll be sneaked into the front at every opportunity and it's quite frankly a bit scary to think some of our roiling angry populace might take the opportunity to watch Naked Stewardesses in Heat on the way to work.

As if the morning traffic hell-run isn't bad enough!