THE NEW KEN – HE’S GAY!

Here he is, brace yourself girls, here’s the guy that’s going to revive the fortunes of Mattel, manufacturer of the perennial Barbie, who has been dallying with an Australian surfer boy for the past two years.

Challenging the interloper on his own turf is the new super-duper improved Ken, his body is more ripped, his chiseled features have been toned down, he looks almost pretty in a Beckham type of way, with his hat on backwards. Looks like he needs a boyfriend more than an ageing blonde with fake tits. Add a moustache, the old Ken will do nicely.