Friday, February 17, 2006
In light of the fact that Evita Bezuidenhout has denied she has a love child by ex-deputy president Zuma, I feel it incumbent upon me to state unequivocally and with no ambiguity whatsoever that I too have not mothered any child and/or children by ex-president Jacob Zuma. It’s nothing to do with my attractiveness I assure you, I am quite acceptably sexy for most men, however the life paths of Mr. Zuma and myself have never met in any meaningful way, therefore the aforesaid love sprog, either real or imaginary, did not materialize in any way, shape or form, now or in the past, or indeed in the future.
I’ve absolutely nothing against Jacob Zuma, I always thought him a good solid, honest man, until I heard otherwise, and perhaps in another time and place, we might have got together in a meaningful way, but as of this time, our celestial destinies have not brought us into sufficient proximity for the exchange of body fluids (or solids and semi-solids) necessary for the production of zygotes, embryos and in fact, living miniature human beings.
Therefore I wish to categorically state, I am not currently in possession of any love child of any person known now (or henceforth) as Mr. Zuma, whether it is possible to possess any child or cat for that matter, but no matter, the fact remains, that I am minus one child of Jacob Zuma, and the way things are going, I will never, ever have the love child of one Mr. Jacob Zuma.
And perhaps that’s for the best.
Zapiro from Sunday Times