BUSINESS DAY BUSTED BY THE SPELLING POLICE

Last week a billboard appeared for Business Day suggesting that President of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe was about to be rolled up in a bundle and wrapped in wire by the President of South Africa Thabo Mbeki. The actual headline read “Crunch talks on Mugabe bale-out”. It refers to the idea of lending a great wodge of our money to that good for nothing wastrel that hangs around the local shops wheedling money for a bottle of Crackling with that wobbly smile on his face, but that’s not the point when it comes to the Spelling Police. It's bail, geddit, so irate Business Day readers inundated the newspaper’s offices, eliciting this response (verbatim) from Rehana Rousseau:

“SEVERAL readers called or e-mailed to point out that last Thursday's Business Day poster - Crunch talks on Mugabe bale-out - was misspelt. Alas, The Insider must humbly disagree. In Business Day's style, informed by the Collins dictionary, "bail-out", readers' suggested alternative, is used to refer to removing water from a boat, or to as a reference to bail, money paid as a guarantee that a released prisoner will return to face trial. Unfortunately, Zimbabwe's parliament has not passed any laws allowing for the prosecution of dictators with silly moustaches, so SA's possible loan to Harare remains a bale-out.”

Uh, I don’t think so, helping a buddy out of the great big steaming pile of shit he's gotten himself into is called bail, according to this and this and this.

Come to think of it, the thought of Bozo Bob (silly moustache or not) being bundled up in a heap and toted up the barge does have a certain appeal.