SEX IN THE OFFICE - GO RIGHT AHEAD

Here’s a bit of good news for the new year, South African executives are remarkably easy going about sex in the office. According to a survey by Finweek on sexual behaviour among South African executives, 27% believe that sex in the office has a positive effect on productivity, so go ahead, don’t hold back, bonk the sales manager in the file room, it’s not going to harm your career, uh, as long as you start when you’re young and cute.

There’s lots in this report that’s interesting, surprising and just plain hilarious and it might go some way to explaining why your boss is always in a foul mood. Turns out that success at work has a negligible effect on whether you are likely to have more sex at home, about equivalent to using recreational drugs. Although your boss might be sanguine about sex in the office, turns out if he’s over 50, well he’s not getting very much of it.

And why? Surprisingly enough, most of the respondents considered themselves unsexy, despite their high status and relative wealth, more than two thirds did not think they were appealing to the opposite sex. Most regarded themselves as conservative/traditional, yet more than half were bored and keen to up the excitement factor in their sex lives.

They’re not doing it, so what are they doing? They’re thinking about it a lot. Oh yes, and single executives think about sex more often that those married and over 50, although their level of sexual activity was a paltry once every few months!

Where are they doing it? Female executives seem to have a penchant for hotels, but most male executives have it at home, or in cars, parks, beaches and clubs, and if the lift at the office is taking a long time to reach you, you’ll know why.

While 90% of the subjects have been to a strip club and 9% to a swingers club, only 10% would admit to paying for sex and when it comes to sex toys, only 8% of the men confessed to using them whereas 17% of the women owned up to Rapid Rabbit under the pillow.

The Internet is a particularly popular hunting ground amongst executives who claim to be conservative, 90% have indulged in chat room sessions or intimate e-mails while less than 10% of the total sample have had any kind of virtual sex.

When it comes to what they find attractive, no surprises here, it’s looks for men, and attitude and intelligence for women. Money scores remarkably low, but interestingly enough, of those that are turned on by money, 33% think about sex all the time.

How’s this, 9% of men admit to sleeping their way up the career ladder, while only 4% of women did so. One thing they all agreed on was that sex in the office disrupts the power relations, upends the pecking order and for this reason perhaps, only 16% of the respondents admitted to having indulged in sex in the office, although 30% of them said they would grab the chance given the opportunity. What’s more of those who indulged, the majority said they didn’t regret it at all.

Almost all agreed that the line between sexual harassment and flirting lay at the point of physical contact or where the word “no” was heard.

So there you have it, so much for the new Puritanism, office sex is alive and well, so if you’ve a hankering for the blonde in accounts or that cute guy in IT, go ahead, knock yourself out, just be careful not to scuff the leather finish on the boardroom table.