WHEN SEX SUCKS

Here’s a job to be envied, some lucky person at Empire movie magazine got to trawl through thousands of heaving movie moments to select the very worst sex scenes ever.

Elisabeth Berkley and Kyle McLachlan have never lived down their scene in the swimming pool in Showgirls which has been compared to the first few frenzied minutes of Jaws. Damage with Jeremy Irons banging Juliette Binoche’s head on the floor is a deserved second in the horrible sex stakes, with Joseph Fiennes and Heather Graham in at third to prove the maxim that you just can’t fake chemistry.

Honourable mentions go to Madonna for Body of Evidence, and Sharon Stone for the Specialist and, of course, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s prize turn in the Gigli lesbian gobble gobble incident.