CAR EXPLODES

If you think taxis are the most dangerous part of your morning commute, think again, your car could explode. What’s more, while you’re waiting in the traffic jam caused by a car ahead of you exploding, your car could also overheat and fling itself around in a million pieces.

Luckily it’s easy to spot if your car is about to explode, flames coming from under your bonnet, oh yes, if you have flames coming out of your bonnet, grab your bag (if it hasn’t been grabbed already) and run like hell. If the chick putting on her mascara in the car next to you has flames coming out of her bonnet, you should likewise, exit your car immediately and put foot. If that Engen tanker up ahead has flames coming out of its bonnet, return to your seat, put your head between your legs and kiss your beautiful booty goodbye.

And if the exploding cars are in a traffic jam in the single occupancy lane on the highway, tough luck, you should have remembered to have children.